Single, Ready to Mingle, but Only to Mingle with Pringles (and Cookie Dough)

FIRST "THING" IS FIRST...

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My mother always tells me how she and her friends want to hear about "the oddities of New York." To be honest, New York really is not that "odd." About 78 times a day, double decker busses pass my apartment. I have almost been run over by a double decker bus twice. I always wonder what the tour guide is saying when he passes Whittier Hall. Does he say, "For the past century, super-driven, ready-to-mingle single (but too focused to be involved in anything) women have called this building home?" Or does he say, "To the right is Appletree Market, the well-priced bogota that has served ready-to-mingle single women since it opened?" I am not sure. Maybe he is talking about our FABULOUS Teachers College Student Senate, pictured below.

I am in the back sporting the "pterodactyl"* face, originally created by Jenna Marbles.
*Who knew there was a "silent P" in "pterodactyl?"

Many people have asked me if the city constantly smells like urine. Actually, it does not. Not always. Currently I have a head cold and cannot smell anything through my nose. So no, New York does not "always" smell like pee. 

Usually, I "ask" questions that I believe my mother's friends would ask me. Since I now have learned that my audience includes people outside of the first-through-third-grade teacher community, I am going to make up questions that I am sure you would never ask, but may find interesting. All of the questions I ask will have interesting stories attached. Please consider these questions to be "prompts." I imagine these questions mainly come from my "creepers" (see chart in post below).

I learned from stalking your Facebook that you love giraffes, and that about 20% of your clothing has giraffe and safari animal paraphernalia on it. Why do you dress like a third-grader?

First of all, depending on the day, I even look like a third-grader. Also, I love animals, and brightly-colored animals make me happy. When I am happy, I tend to jump when I talk. For this reason, I recently learned that the security team calls me "Jelly Bean" because I usually dress in bright clothes fit for a third-grader, and I "jump" (like a "jumping jelly bean") up and down when I talk. I am serious. Call the facilities and security teams and ask them if they know who "Jelly Bean" is.

Do you feel comfortable walking alone?

Wow! What a normal question! Since I have lived in New York, I have been mistaken for Kelly from Saved by the Bell multiple times. Due to the fact that many people believe I am an extremely "well-aged" Tiffani Thiessen, the only "cat calls" I hear while walking alone involve references to Mario Lopez. This too, is true. 

Other than that, I constantly remind myself of "S.I.N.G" from Miss Congeniality. 

I've heard you like to dance. Have you been able to dance at all?

Yes! A couple of my friends and I went to a Swing Supper and Dance Club last week, and it was a blast. This club had everything. Fabulous dancing lessons with wonderful friends, Titus Andromedon's Pinot Noir, fifty pairs of left feet, and awkward conversations with older men revolving around their failing lounge-singing careers and tips for re-building their resumes. This story is also true. 

I see that you recently spent the weekend with some fabulous people. Will you please enlighten us about your experience? 

Of course! Last weekend, family friends Lynne, Marion, and Samantha visited the city, and I felt so fortunate to go out to join them for dinner. After dinner, we saw Wicked! I am so grateful for the little bit of "home" that Lynne, Marion, and Sam brought to New York.

In conclusion, I have learned that in graduate school, you learn, a lot. Challenge and support, y'all.

Tonight I yelled "Go Papi" in the middle of a bar while watching the Red Sox vs. Yankees game. To my surprise, one man (who wore a Yankees hat) looked back at me, waved, and yelled, "Props." Although the score tonight was dismal, New Yorkers have been supportive of our love for David Ortiz. 

I decided not to write about the debate in this blog. My heart pressure increases every time an international student asks, "Do Americans REALLY like Trump?" For my personal well-being, I will not delve into this issue tonight. I will say that because of Mr. Trump, I almost threw up from stress-eating a box of Cheez-Its. 

Agh, I wrote about the debate. Whatevs. 

NYC IS ON HOUSE HUNTERS. G2G.

XOXO

Also, my thoughts are constantly with the Charlotte and Tulsa communities, and with the millions of people affected by this tragedy. 

LP

P.S. I am running a lot of the social media for Teachers College. Check out my other blog, here!